I KNOW IT'S UP FOR ME

I've been really into LEN's "Steal My Sunshine" recently. It's a sad song disguised in uppity beats, much like Outkast's "Hey Ya!" But the lyric, "I know it's up for me" has been resonating a lot with me recently. 

I'm on my last days of being a 21 year old, and it has been a really terrible year, to say the least. Filled with so much defeat. But, unlike LEN's song, it isn't something I indulged in for very long. Career wise, it has been going extremely well, which has really been the thing that has been keeping me afloat. Knowing that my career trajectory has been going extremely well even though my personal matters have fallen apart. 

In the last year, I've lost contact with people I was close to, became heartbroken, went to Paris to attempt to mend my broken heart (it did not work to mend my heart but was a fantastic distraction), got an amazing part-time opportunity, and just grew and learn. That's all we want in life anyway, isn't it? To grow and learn? At least that's what I believe...

As I journey into 22, I just absolutely know that it's up for me. I really did feel like I was at the lowest at 21, which I know I will look back at and laugh at myself for feeling like the world was ending at 21. But I think it was also a reality check for myself, which I do appreciate. 

It will possibly be the first year in my life where I am starting it off single. That sounds so weird, doesn't it? I've been with a boy nearly every year of my life since the age of 16? Something like that? And what I've come to realize in all of that is how I haven't had the time to date myself, to really get to know who I am and what I want, especially during such formative years of my life. This sounds so silly, but I do hope that I am single for a while. And I start to experience my 20s like a lot of 20somethings: going out with friends, being fun and flirty. 

I just know, that at 22, it will be up for me. It absolutely will!